This has been a tough week for me. I have finely felt a little over-whelmed with everything going on, and my new roles. I am a new mommy, which I love. I love my son and taking care of him. I love to see him grow and develop. I am about to be a wife, and I am basically a stay at home mom for the time. I am looking for a new job, which is stressful enough. All these new roles are fine one at a time, but the reason why I'm feeling over-whelmed is because all this is happening so fast now. The wedding is less then 2 months away, and there is so much left to do, all the little details, and it's driving me just a tad crazy. But I know everything will come together, its just getting there that's the problem.
Now, I have never really been the 'domestic' type, just ask my mom. I do not cook, and cleaning was never a priority to me, as long as there is not trash all over the ground ,the garbage is taken out regularly, I never really cared about dirty dishes, or sweeping the floor everyday. I know I'm a little clutter bug. It's something I have been working on myself to change. I've been doing a pretty good job keeping the house as clean as possible. I do have a tiny house with not a lot of storage space, so it's a little cluttered with baby stuff and everyday living. But if I or Logan has a bad day and I can't get everything I want to get done, I feel like such a failure. I really did not expect it to be this hard to keep the house going with Logan. People make it seem so easy. Valerie does such a great job, she manages everything, the house always looks so nice, the girls go out on many play dates, they are busier then I am, and they are only 3 and 1! Plus on top of all their busy plans, she still finds time to cook dinner, and bake wonderful perfect goodies. I just don't know how she does it. Valerie inspires me, she is one of the best moms I have ever known, and I can only hope to be half of the mom she is! But I am not my sister, I am just Natalie. I realized that I can't do it all, and that I need help. It is hard for me to admit that I need it. I want to be able to do this on my own. Don't ask me why I have such a need to be independent and do it on my own. Kevin does help me with the baby, giving me some time for myself, but at the same time, I can only focus on Logan. I almost feel like I am losing myself. I do not know who I am or who I am going to be. I think I am in a transition faze. I will have a new role as a wife and mother. It doesn't scare me, I want this, but I just don't know where I am going. That's the over-whelming feeling. I do not want to lose myself, I realize that people change after big changes in their lives, and I am doing the biggest changes a person can at the same time. Becoming a mother and wife...at the same time. It's over-whelming. It has been a long time coming I think. I think my mom will be happy that I am having this revelation. It has been just a little too easy for me. I know I will get through this and be a better mother, wife and person for it. I know I have all the support from my family and friends. Kevin is a great listener and knows when I need a break even before I do. I can call up my sisters anytime to talk. And my mom has always been there for me, and is helping me more then she knows with the wedding. I know she is doing everything in her power to make my day the best, most memorable day of my life. She is the best! It's nice just writing this stuff down, it helps put things back in perspective. I am not my mom, I am not my sister, I am just Natalie and I know that it may be raining now, but the sun will come out tomorrow, and my life will be great!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Pooper Ba-Dooper
Ever since Logan's belly button and circumcision fell off I have given him a bath, nearly every night. Always before bed time. It helps sooth him and every night he has a bath he sleeps really good. I use this bed time bubble bath. It smells great, and then I also use the Method soap gel, and that makes him smell even better, just like a clean baby! For the first 1 and a half month there have been no incidences with the no diaper off....until now! I normally ask Kevin to get Logan ready for his bath, while I get things set up. Kevin undressed Logan, he had a clean diaper, and brought him into the bathroom. Logan was facing Kevin, and Kevin was holding him by Logan's butt, you know, the right way to hold your child. Kevin was about to put Logan into the tub when all of a sudden Logan started to fart, and with the fart came some poo! Just a little bit, and it dropped onto our bathroom floor. I couldn't believe it, I just started laughing and Kevin started freaking out! But that's not the end of it! As soon as I finished wiping up the poo from the floor, Logan started peeing on Kevin, and Logan again pooed, this time all over Kevin's hand! It was hilarious. I had to run and get more wipes to clean up Kevin and Logan, while Kevin was still holding this poo-ing child and still freaking out. At this point I was laughing so hard I could hardly clean up the mess. Kevin almost throw up, but didn't. After cleaning up the mess, Logan had his bath, got ready for bed, got his last dinner for the night, and had a really good night's sleep. Since I am the one who is on diaper duty most times, I really thought I was going to be the first one Logan pooed or would be peed on. But nope, he saved that experience for his father. I so appreciate that! It was a good bonding experience for both of them. I think that was the last time Kevin helps me at bath time, but its well worth it! To see the look on his face, was priceless!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Joys of Being a New Parent
Logan is now 6 weeks and 4 days. He is getting bigger and bigger, and his features are becoming more pronounced. When he was first born he looked like Kevin. Now he is starting to look more and more like me. He has my eyes for sure. But I also think his looks are like a chameleon, when I hold him, people say he looks like me, and then when Kevin holds him, people think he looks like Kevin. I love him. He is also starting to smile more. He tends to do it more in his sleep, but when Daddy comes home and we play with him, he will smile a few times. He loves the Whooshing game. Either Kevin or myself will stand him up and then Whoosh him up and down and side to side. He will use his legs to kick off, it is remarkable! It also seems like he is finding his voice. He makes new cooing noises, and seems like he wants to giggle but still doesn't quite know how. I can't wait for the day when he starts laughing, I think I may just cry with joy. Everyday is something new.
Logan had his first cold the other week. He never got a fever (thank God!) but he was coughing a lot and had a stuffy nose, which we had to suck out with that suction device. He slept a lot during the day, but he wanted to snuggle with mommy who was happy to snuggle. Poor Kevin (and me too) was so worried about him. Kevin would call me through out the day to check on Logan. Unfortunately Logan was uninsured when he got sick, he was in between, waiting for it to kick in, so taking him to the doctor would have been really expensive, however, if we had to take him, we would have paid anything to make sure Logan was okay! Anyway we called the advice nurses and they all told us that he doesn't seem to need to see a doctor and just keep doing what we were doing. We would suck out his nose, let him sleep and then we also would take him into the bathroom and steam him, we also got a humidifier for him which we would use during the night. Since he did not have a fever, there was no need to see a doctor, the nurses told us that we were great parents and doing everything right. That was a relief for Kevin and myself. However, the Saturday night when he was sick, I hadn't had a good nights (or day's nap) sleep for a few days, and I was exhausted! It was around 11 PM and Logan was UPSET! There was NOTHING we could do to clam this poor sick child down. He didn't want to eat anymore, we changed his diaper, and he didn't want to be put down or held, and he did not want his pacifier. I was at my wits end. Kevin was sleeping on the couch, and I was in the bedroom. I woke Kevin up and said, 'I'm pumping some milk for Logan so you can watch him while I get some sleep, I need just an hour of sleep, take him!' Kevin, who just woke up for deep sleep didn't know what was going on, and said 'I need to go to the bathroom, you need to take him and clam him down' All I wanted to do was sleep! Kevin was awake after a few more moments, and was so concerned about Logan that he thought we should go to the emergency room. He was crying so hard that he couldn't catch his breath and was wheezing more and more. I was so tired at this point that I said, 'Okay lets go, let's just go' So we pack up the screaming child and went to the car, and drove down the street to St Rose Hospital. During the drive Logan calmed down and by the time we got to the hospital, he was passed out asleep, with no wheezing. We stood outside the car for 10 to 15 minuets thinking 'Should we take him in? He seems fine now, what do you think?' I then said, 'He is asleep, he is fine, lets drive to Fremont to make sure he really is asleep, and then go home, if he has another fit when we get home, then we will take him back' So we got in the car and drove to Fremont, and then back home, He stayed asleep the entire drive, and then once we were home, he slept the rest of the night, not waking up until 5 AM. We kept him in his car seat because we did not want to wake him by moving him. I passed out on the couch and Kevin stayed up the entire night making sure that Logan was breathing and okay. After this we knew we could handle anything. Logan is now better, and Kevin and myself are more confident as parents because we got through his very first cold with flying colors. Go US!
Logan had his first cold the other week. He never got a fever (thank God!) but he was coughing a lot and had a stuffy nose, which we had to suck out with that suction device. He slept a lot during the day, but he wanted to snuggle with mommy who was happy to snuggle. Poor Kevin (and me too) was so worried about him. Kevin would call me through out the day to check on Logan. Unfortunately Logan was uninsured when he got sick, he was in between, waiting for it to kick in, so taking him to the doctor would have been really expensive, however, if we had to take him, we would have paid anything to make sure Logan was okay! Anyway we called the advice nurses and they all told us that he doesn't seem to need to see a doctor and just keep doing what we were doing. We would suck out his nose, let him sleep and then we also would take him into the bathroom and steam him, we also got a humidifier for him which we would use during the night. Since he did not have a fever, there was no need to see a doctor, the nurses told us that we were great parents and doing everything right. That was a relief for Kevin and myself. However, the Saturday night when he was sick, I hadn't had a good nights (or day's nap) sleep for a few days, and I was exhausted! It was around 11 PM and Logan was UPSET! There was NOTHING we could do to clam this poor sick child down. He didn't want to eat anymore, we changed his diaper, and he didn't want to be put down or held, and he did not want his pacifier. I was at my wits end. Kevin was sleeping on the couch, and I was in the bedroom. I woke Kevin up and said, 'I'm pumping some milk for Logan so you can watch him while I get some sleep, I need just an hour of sleep, take him!' Kevin, who just woke up for deep sleep didn't know what was going on, and said 'I need to go to the bathroom, you need to take him and clam him down' All I wanted to do was sleep! Kevin was awake after a few more moments, and was so concerned about Logan that he thought we should go to the emergency room. He was crying so hard that he couldn't catch his breath and was wheezing more and more. I was so tired at this point that I said, 'Okay lets go, let's just go' So we pack up the screaming child and went to the car, and drove down the street to St Rose Hospital. During the drive Logan calmed down and by the time we got to the hospital, he was passed out asleep, with no wheezing. We stood outside the car for 10 to 15 minuets thinking 'Should we take him in? He seems fine now, what do you think?' I then said, 'He is asleep, he is fine, lets drive to Fremont to make sure he really is asleep, and then go home, if he has another fit when we get home, then we will take him back' So we got in the car and drove to Fremont, and then back home, He stayed asleep the entire drive, and then once we were home, he slept the rest of the night, not waking up until 5 AM. We kept him in his car seat because we did not want to wake him by moving him. I passed out on the couch and Kevin stayed up the entire night making sure that Logan was breathing and okay. After this we knew we could handle anything. Logan is now better, and Kevin and myself are more confident as parents because we got through his very first cold with flying colors. Go US!
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