Almost There

I can not believe that in one month and two days I will no longer have an infant, but a toddler. I never really believed that time would fly so fast. I thought because I stay home and take care of the baby and the house that time would slow down. But not, it speeds up! I feel so blessed for my little family. How much everything has changed in one year. In one year I went from single life to married life. From wishing for a child to becoming a mommy. All the experiences this past year have been grand and I truly treasure all the memories. I think it still really hasn't quite hit me that Logan will be One year old so soon. Maybe its because he still seems to be a small baby, or maybe it is me putting it off and not wanting this stage to be over. Yes I am excited for this new stage, but I'm also a little scared. I know babies bump their heads and fall down and scrap their knees. But I hate to see Logan in pain. I hate the fact that he is teething again and there isn't much I can offer to help relive the pain or pressure. That part sucks! But the most wonderful parts are seeing him grow and develop. Being there when he first sat up, watching him take his first crawling steps. Hearing his first word. All the fun we are having by clapping and high-fiving. Watching him stand by himself. And when he does take his first steps, I hope I am there to see that too. It's amazing to watch and experience with your own child. Its really the best feeling to witness this miracle.
So on to the next chapter in my charmed life. School is almost over. My first completed semester of college. On to the next at a new college. On to a new year of firsts for me and my family!

So many many firsts

Logan is now 10 months. It has been awhile since I last gave you all an update. Sorry about that, I have been busy with starting school and home life. I wish that I could be better like some people, but all my writing lately has been for school. So let's get on with the updates, shall we?

Like I said Logan is now 10 months. He is about 18 lbs and 27". He is still in the 5 percentile. But his growth is perfect. He is just a little guy. He is smiling and talking babbling a lot. He is a talkative little man. His first word was 'Dada' this happened a day after Logan's 6 month check up. We were driving in the car on our way home and all of a sudden Logan said 'Dada!' After that point and to this day, everything is 'Dada' He does say 'Mama, but very rarely and he says 'Nana' for 'Mama' I think it's cute. He is also pulling himself up and standing while holding on to something. He has been doing this since he was about 8 and half months. He has also started crawling. He started crawling when he was 9 months. He also finily cut his first teeth. That's right, he didn't cut just one, but two! His two bottom middle teeth. It's really cute. He, I believe, is cutting more now, so we will see what happens in the next few weeks. He is also waving, clapping, and high fiving. All these just happened in a span of a week while we were in Hawaii last week! I can't believe how all that happened in the same week! It's just amazing! I have cute stories about that later on in the blog.

Logan in just a happy guy, and one of the cutest babies. I know that I am bais because he is my son, but take this for what it is: No matter where I go, even walking down the street or picking up my mail, if there is anyone around, they will come up to me, top me, and play with Logan. Smiling at him touching his feet or hands. Logan oves this so he will always smile back, and that just makes their day! They always ask how old he is, and tell me what an adorable baby he is. I must give myself AT LEAST 10 mins extra just so that way people can stop and talk with Logan. And it's not just one person, it's almost anyone who sees him. I can hear people talk about what a cute baby Logan is when I walk away if they didn't get a chance to talk to me. It's really crazy. Now that he can wave and clap, it's even cuter! I guess I have to give myself more time when I go to Target or whatever. So don;t take my word for it, take all the strangers words! I have entered Logan in a cute baby contest. The winner gets a year supply of clothing from Carter's. I hope he wins, but he needs your vote. Please vote and vote and vote for Little Logan here at Carter's Cuties Photo Contest on Nov 24-Dec 24. Thanks for your support!

Okay now on to our family honeymoon/birthday in Hawaii. It was fantastic. So relaxing, so beautiful. We didn't do that much we had breakfast at the Gazebo Cafe. We didn't know at the time that this was the best breakfast in Maui. We just happened to be out and about on our way to Lahanna, and we were starving. So we asked a woman walking where there was a breakfast spot. She told us to follow this road a long way and we will find a place to eat. We found it, and there was a line. I guess we got there about 15 mins before they opened. It was muggy and was drizzling a little bit, we were so hungry that we decided to wait for it to open thinking that once it opened we would be seated fairly soon. While in line we were talking to the other people waiting in line who told us that this was a famous spot in Maui. We didn't know it was an actual gazebo! So once it opened I think we waiting for another 30 mins. We got a GREAT spot right by the 'window'. The food was good, and we have a lovely view of the rainbows. Got some great pictures which you can find on my Facebook account. The rest of the trip was exelant. We did the road to Hana, ate at Kinmos in Old Lahanna, and ate at the famous Mama's Fish House. All GREAT food. We also went to the aqueame. It was really neat to see all the fishes and sea turtles. They have one of the only Tiger Sharks in all the US and the world in fact. Couldn't take a picture of the shark because it swam by us too fast to take one. So I had stated that Logan started waving, clapping and high fiving in Hawaii. Well, it started with waving. We were walking a trail at the Twin Falls when people were walking by, Logan would raise his hand in the air and move his fingers up and down, kind of like the milk sign. It was so cute almost everyone stoped and laughed and smiled at us. That was the first. I have been working with Logan on clapping for awhile maybe like 2 months. I would clap my hands together and sing a sng I learned from my sister Valerie. When I would hold Logan he would pat me on my back and make the slapping noise. Well, I guess he figured out how to do it with his own hands. He just started clapping all of a sudden. When he made the noise himself he looked so proud. He would stop and start smiling and laughing. Kevin and I were so excited. Then Kevin started working on the high five. He would hold his hand out to Logan and say 'High five' then get Logan's hand and slap it lightly. Well, while we were waiting for our plan to arrive to go home, Logan did it himself. He likes the sound. Now you can hold out your hand and if Logan wants to, he will hold out his hand and slap your hand. He laughs almost every time! It's just so amazing! Logan also pulled himself up and stood for like 3-5 seconds clapping, then fell down. He hasn't done it since, but I'm saying that was his first time! He may not do it again for awhile, but both Kevin and I saw it in the mirror.

Well, that's the latest. I hope you enjoyed reading up on Logan's progress. I will keep you updated on all of Logan's firsts and cute stories. I will also keep you updated on my school (which is going ok). Have a great time in whatever you are up to!

Tough Love and Ceral Confustion

So Logan had his 4 month wellness check up today. Normally Logan is a very calm baby. Today...not so much. He did not want to be laid down on the table to be examined, and he certainly did not like getting measured, especially his head! In fact they had to measure it twice because the first measurement didn't seem quite right. I had to hold Logan when the doctor checked his eyes and listened to his heart. Then he had to have his body examined. When that was going on Logan would look at me, crying, I could could tell by the way he was looking at me, he was saying 'Mommy, what's going on? Why wont you just hold me? Who is this man?' There was nothing I could do but smile at him to let him know it was going to be okay.

The doctor asked me if I had started Logan on solid foods yet. I told him not yet because I wasn't sure if he was ready. The doctor said he was and to start him on baby cereal, and he recommended the rice cereal. I said that we would start today. Then it was on to his second round of shots. He was a happy boy at this point, smiling at everyone and kicking his legs. So much so that the nurse had to hold his legs down for the shots. He got 3 shots and one oral. He cried with the shots but stopped right away when they gave him the oral. I then packed him up and got him ready to go pick up Papa. Logan fell asleep on the ride there and stayed asleep for most of the late afternoon.

After picking Kevin up I told him about our day and what a brave boy our son was. I also told him that it was time for Logan to start eating solid foods. So we went to Target to get rice cereal witch was what the doctor recommended. Since this was the first time we had ever even looked at infant cereal we didn't know what to get. There was a very nice lady in the same aisle, and she gave us some good advice. She also recommended what kind of cereal to get and how to prepare it. We were very appreciative to that nice lady. She told us to make it a little more watery then normal for the first time. After getting home Logan was awake and time to start the bed time routine. I gave him a bath, which he normally really likes, but not tonight. He cried for most of it, so it was a short bath, and not relaxing. Then we got him in his PJ's and a bottle was made. We are starting baby signing, so once the milk was made we gave Logan the sign for milk, and it seems like he is kinda starting to understand. As soon as we gave him the sign, he calmed down a bit. After the bottle we gave Logan a little bit of space and I started getting the rice cereal made. I was reading the directions and I thought I was doing it correctly. But I didn't. This is what happened: I made a 4 ounce bottle, just like I normally would. I then put that same bottle into a bowl and mixed in 1 tablespoon of rice cereal. Now I know that the lady told us to make it watery, but this was ridiculous! I couldn't even spoon it I mean it is supposed to be solid right? So I messed up, I had to dump it out. I thought I misread the directions, so I tried again. This time I put 2 scoops of formula into the bowl, and 1 tablespoon of cereal, then looked at the directions to see how much liquid to use. That's where I got confused. It didn't tell me how much to use! Once I was confused, and I knew I didn't understand what the directions were telling me to do Kevin stepped in. I watched the baby and Kevin made the bowl. This is what I did wrong. I was supposed to use 4-5 TABLESPOONS of formula, not ounces! And then use 1 tablespoon of cereal. So I guess I really don't belong in the kitchen! Once it was made, I put Logan in his bumbo chair and feed Logan his very first taste of rice cereal. I think we got more on his face and bib then we did in his tummy. But we are working on it. He will do better.

So now that Logan is 4 months it is time for me to start the tough love. Logan can no longer fall asleep on me and then be put in his crib. He must fall asleep on his own. Last night was the first time we did this. It was very hard for me. After he was fed Logan and I rocked in the rocking chair and I read him a story. I could see that he had his tired eyes on, so I went to the bedroom, and put him in the crib. He started crying, and I said, "Goodnight Logan, I love you". I then walked out of the room. He cried for about 10 mins, then I went back into the room, tried to give Logan his pacifier, which he didn't want so since he didn't want his pacifier, I walked back out of the room. Logan still cried for 10-15 mins more, and then all of a sudden, the house was quite. Logan had gone to sleep! Oh my goodness, I did it! This is how it is going to be from now on. Once Logan starts getting tired, I will put him in the crib, and he must fall asleep on his own. I will only go into the room every 10 mins to try to calm him down. After 3 times, I will then pick him up to calm him down, once h is calm, it starts all over again until he falls asleep. I was lucky that I only had to go in the room once. Kevin was there for me the whole time. He gave me encouraging hugs, and told me what a great job I was doing. I know that what we are doing it good for him. Logan must learn when he is tried and how to go to sleep. It may be hard for us now, but in the long run Logan will be a better man for it. Strong and independent. This was the first time I felt like a real parent, not just a mommy, but a parent.

Wedding Day

Well, I am now married. I have been married for 3 days now. I do not think it has really hit me yet. I still feel like I need to plan, and be busy. But I have no plans, and now I am not busy. Expect for the fact that I have a young son of course.

The wedding was great and beautiful. It was everything I ever dreamed it would be! But it took a lot to get there. Friday was the rehearsal and dinner. That did not go as smoothly as I had hoped. My best friend Michelle came into town Friday and we got our nails done. Kevin had Logan while he was running some last minuet stuff, he had to get his hair cut and he did laundry at his grandma's house. Anyway it was very nice to be pampered. I got my nails done, it took longer then expected. Then we had to stop by Target to get some more make-up and other supplies. Michelle's boyfriend had the car and before we left to get our nails done, we had loaded her car with wedding stuff, thinking that Michelle would ride up with me and Kevin to the rehearsal. When we got back to the house Kevin was getting things ready, loading our car with all the bags and supplies we would need for the weekend ahead. Packing Logan making sure we had everything. Once we were done and dressed for the rehearsal we thought we had about an hour before we had to lave for the site. Then all of a sudden, I remembered that we had to get to Costco for the drinks and appetizers!!!! OH NO! We did not have room for Michelle!!!! So she had to call her boyfriend so come and pick her up from our house. The problem was, he was already in Santa Cruz! So he came back to pick her up. Kevin and I ran to Costco to get the drinks. Once we had everything, we needed to head on up to the wedding site for the rehearsal. There was some traffic which made us about 15 min late for our own rehearsal! I felt so bad. My family was already there, Dad, Laura, and Arielle all drove up together, Nick and his girlfriend, Diana came a few mins after us. Valerie and her family was also there before us. Now we were waiting on Michelle and Kevin's family. I knew Michelle was going to be late, so that did not bother me. But where was Kevin's family? We waited for like over an hour and we had to do the rehearsal without them. The kids were starting to get a little hungry, and restless. I wanted to practice with music, but since Kevin's parents were not there, we couldn't do that. I just had to hope for the best. There was a point in the song that I wanted Kevin to see me for the first time, but since the music couldn't be played, I had to hope we could do it.

After the rehearsal, we went to the restaurant to met up with everyone. My whole family, and Kevin's family. It was a great restaurant, Mike's By the Bay or something like that. It was a beautiful place. Outside, and Cindy worked very hard on decorating the place. She made center pieces with daises, which were my flowers, and butterflies. Kevin and I had gotten our groomsmen and bridesmaids presents, we presented them. Kevin got really nice knifes, and I got heart shapes necklaces. Everyone seemed to really like them. In fact the bridesmaids wore them at the wedding. It made me very happy that everyone like their gifts. The food was fantastic! I had steak and mashed potatoes, so did most of the people. Dinner was really fun, we all had a great time. Logan was such a good boy during the whole thing!

After dinner, Kevin and I went to the hotel, he dropped my stuff off in my room, then we said goodnight to each other because this was the last time we would see each other until I was walking down the isle, or so we thought. I was sharing a room with Laura, and after getting dressed for bed, we decided to watch a little TV. Logan was asleep, and I was texting Kevin while watching TV. At around 9:30, I decided to hit the hay, I texted Kevin with goodnight. Kevin was sleeping with his brother and nephew in another room. A few hours later I got a text from Kevin saying he was miserable. James was having a night terror and screaming his head off. Kevin really needed to get some sleep since it was like 1 am. I told him to come to my room and he could sleep on the couch. He felt so bad about having to beak this rule, but I understand that he needed sleep. Then about an hour later Kevin's phone started ringing, I was afraid the loud phone would wake Logan up, so I answered it. Kevin's best friend Jenny was on the other line. She at first thought she called the wrong number, I told her who I was and asked her if she needed a place to crash. She said she did since she could still hear James screaming on the other side of the door. I told her my room number, and an hour later Jenny was knocking on the door. She had to sleep on the floor with some of Logan's blankets. Poor girl!

Then it was the day of the wedding! Kevin woke up and played with Logan for a bit, then we all went to get some breakfast. I knew we were going to catch some crap because Kevin and I were with each other, but I didn't care, as long as Kevin didn't see me in my dress until the wedding I was fine. Kevin's parents were eating breakfast as well as like 30 high school kids! There was a line! All I really wanted was some coffee and a bagel, I was not about to wait in a line, after all, I WAS the bride! I got my coffee and Jenny got me something to eat. Kevin took Logan back to the room and I told him that I would bring him something to eat. We had breakfast with Kevin's parents. Then it was time to start getting ready for the big day! I took a fast shower and shaved my legs, actually, I veet-ed them so they were nice and smooth! Laura helped me with Logan while I was doing all of this. We started packing up my car with everything, and got the appetisers out of the hotel's fridge. They let us keep it there over night. I was very nice of them! Now it was on to the wedding site! I wasn't nervous until my friend Eric called me up to let me know that he was there. I told him that I would be there in a few mins and to wait for me. When I hung up the phone I felt such a wave of love and appreciation for my friends. They did so much for us that I day! I'm so lucky to have friends like Eric, Susie and Josh. When I pulled up to the site there was a baseball game going on so it was a little hard to find close parking, but I found parking. Walking up to the house I became a little nervous. I saw Eric and we went over a few things. Then it was time to get up stairs because Kevin was arriving, plus I had to start getting my hair ready. A good friend of Cindy did my hair. It was half up and half down with curls, and white flowers. It was so pretty! I loved it! While I was getting ready people were coming in and out, some taking pictures and some needed answers. Things downstairs seemed to be going great. I have not heard of anything going really wrong. After my make up was done, it was time for the dress! I love my dress! It fits me perfectly in every sense of the word. My mom laced me in and others helped to get my ready. Then it was time!

I will never forget walking down the isle. It was one of the highlights of my life. The only problem was, people were not ready to walk, meaning they were not lined up when it was time to go. Also, there was a helicopter flying around outside. I didn't think anything of it I thought it was a traffic copper, boy was I wrong! It came down for a landing!!! On MY WEDDING DAY! RIGHT WHEN I WAS WALKING DOWN THE ISLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't hear the music, so the DJ had to play it twice because it took so long for people to get down the isle. Maia was the flower girl, and James was the ring bearer. They did a great job, or so I'm told. I haven't seen the footage as of yet. Now it is my turn. I was going crazy and my dad was holding my hand, which made me a lot more calm. I didn't make it very far down when the tears started coming. I saw my friends, and then I saw Kevin, and that's where I lost it! He looked so handsome, I couldn't keep it together. My dad whispered in my ear that I was beautiful and that he was so proud of me, he knew I was going to be happy and taken care of. He shook Kevin's hand, and handed mine to his. Then we went to the alter and the ceremony started. But people couldn't hear us because of the helicopter. But we went for it anyway. Before I knew it we were saying our vows, and then she pronouced us 'Man and Wife...You may kiss your bride!' I was married!!! Then we ate, then we toasted, and dancing came next. My friend Jessica caught the bouquet, and Arielle's boyfriend caught the garter. By the way, I love Arielle's boyfriend. He was very resecptful and nice. I'm glad my sister is with such a good guy. I think he will fit in perfectly with our family! Here's hoping, (no pressure). After all that it was time to clean up, and get dressed in street clothes! I did not want to take my dress off. I want to wear it again! And I will for Halloween. Then on to Monterrey. Kevin's parents took Logan for the night. It was the first night away from us. I missed him terribly. But it was nice to sleep through the nigh not worrying about waking Logan up. We ordered room service at the hotel, because by the time we got there, both Kevin and I were SOOOOOO tired, and I just couldn't drive anymore. After food, Kevin and I went to 'bed' then we went to sleep.

The next morning was Mother's Day. We were going to have lunch with Kevin's parents, and my new in-laws, and to pick Logan up. But we had all morning, so we went to breakfast. Or at least tried to. The breakfast place that was recommend to us had an hour wait, and I couldn't wait. I was grumpy, and needed coffee and food. So we went to the place next door and had some breakfast. It was good. Right by our hotel there was an art festival going on. So we went looking for presents. We found a pearl necklace for Cindy. I didn't see anything I liked. After that we went to lunch and picked up our baby! We missed him soooooo much! Lunch was great. After lunch Kevin and I decided to do some shopping on the pier. That is where I found my mother's day present. It is a pretty safir necklace. I will post pics when I get them. I LOVE my necklace. After shopping we were all tired, and went back to the hotel. We took a nap, and again ordered room service for dinner. I like room service. After Logan went down for the night, Kevin and I drank a little then went to sleep. The next morning we had to pack up and head home. We both didn't want the weekend to end, but it did.

What a great wedding, and a great life I have. I feel so blessed to have such great friends and family who love and support me. I have the greatest husband, and the perfect child. Life couldn't be much better then it is right now!

It's Almost Time

The wedding day is looming! The day I have dreamed about my entire life is almost here. I have planned, and I have created, I have sweat-ed, and I have cried, all for this one day. I'm both excited and anxious. I want this day to be perfect. I want to look perfect, and I want everyone to have a great time. I have my dress fitting next week, and I'm doing the finishing touches on the center pieces. Mom, Aunt Kelly, and Arielle are finishing the bridesmaids' dresses. Arielle is making the table covers, and I have sewen all the table runners and napkins. Now is all the little details. We need to start purchasing all the glasses and some silverware. Mom has been kind enough to purchase the plates. Kevin, I think, is getting a deal on the champagne that we will be drinking, and we will be getting sparkling cider and water from Costco, but that wont be until the last week. Also we need to get an outfit for Logan. He will (hopefully) be wearing a Tux Onsie! He will look adorable, of course! Couldn't hide his cuteness even if I tried, but why would I want to? Anyway, I am exhausted of all the planning. I can't wait for the big day to get here. We have our marriage license. The person who will marry us is a great woman, and I'm REALLY looking forward to what she will say and how things will play out. I think there will not be a dry eye on the property!

Now on to an update of the little guy. He is about 3 and a half months now. He rolled over for the first time on April 13, just one day after his 3 month birthday. He did it again yesterday (April 20) so he has rolled over twice! He now holds his head up, but he has done that really since the first month. He really wants to sit up, but still can't quite do it on his own. He likes to suck on his hands, and he is tiring to figure out how to grab his feet. He will put his legs in the air, and look at his hands, and tries to grab his feet, but still can't do it. It is really amusing to watch. Susan says that he will soon be putting his foot in his mouth, and I think that day will be funny. He is a very happy baby. He loves to hang out with Mommy and Daddy, and to cuddle. He sleeps the entire night, well really until recently. He has been waking up at midnight and wants a bottle. It is harder to put him back to sleep in his crib, so I bring him into bed with us, which is fine for me, lets me get a few hours of really good sleep with my baby. He smiles all the time, and he smiles with his whole face, it goes straight to his eyes. It warms my heart when I see him so happy. I know that I am doing something right when he is happy. Kevin is a terrific dad. When he gets home he will give Logan a bottle and do some cuddling. If there is a baseball game on the TV they will watch it. Logan sometimes falls asleep, but it's still fun bonding time. Logan loves to watch TV, so now I need to get him some baby DVDs so he can learn some cool stuff. Also I want to do the baby signs so I'm going to get these as well.

Life is good, and I couldn't feel more blessed. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone May 8 as I marry my best friend and best man I have ever known. I will make sure that everyone has a great time, even if it kills me!

Revalations

This has been a tough week for me. I have finely felt a little over-whelmed with everything going on, and my new roles. I am a new mommy, which I love. I love my son and taking care of him. I love to see him grow and develop. I am about to be a wife, and I am basically a stay at home mom for the time. I am looking for a new job, which is stressful enough. All these new roles are fine one at a time, but the reason why I'm feeling over-whelmed is because all this is happening so fast now. The wedding is less then 2 months away, and there is so much left to do, all the little details, and it's driving me just a tad crazy. But I know everything will come together, its just getting there that's the problem.

Now, I have never really been the 'domestic' type, just ask my mom. I do not cook, and cleaning was never a priority to me, as long as there is not trash all over the ground ,the garbage is taken out regularly, I never really cared about dirty dishes, or sweeping the floor everyday. I know I'm a little clutter bug. It's something I have been working on myself to change. I've been doing a pretty good job keeping the house as clean as possible. I do have a tiny house with not a lot of storage space, so it's a little cluttered with baby stuff and everyday living. But if I or Logan has a bad day and I can't get everything I want to get done, I feel like such a failure. I really did not expect it to be this hard to keep the house going with Logan. People make it seem so easy. Valerie does such a great job, she manages everything, the house always looks so nice, the girls go out on many play dates, they are busier then I am, and they are only 3 and 1! Plus on top of all their busy plans, she still finds time to cook dinner, and bake wonderful perfect goodies. I just don't know how she does it. Valerie inspires me, she is one of the best moms I have ever known, and I can only hope to be half of the mom she is! But I am not my sister, I am just Natalie. I realized that I can't do it all, and that I need help. It is hard for me to admit that I need it. I want to be able to do this on my own. Don't ask me why I have such a need to be independent and do it on my own. Kevin does help me with the baby, giving me some time for myself, but at the same time, I can only focus on Logan. I almost feel like I am losing myself. I do not know who I am or who I am going to be. I think I am in a transition faze. I will have a new role as a wife and mother. It doesn't scare me, I want this, but I just don't know where I am going. That's the over-whelming feeling. I do not want to lose myself, I realize that people change after big changes in their lives, and I am doing the biggest changes a person can at the same time. Becoming a mother and wife...at the same time. It's over-whelming. It has been a long time coming I think. I think my mom will be happy that I am having this revelation. It has been just a little too easy for me. I know I will get through this and be a better mother, wife and person for it. I know I have all the support from my family and friends. Kevin is a great listener and knows when I need a break even before I do. I can call up my sisters anytime to talk. And my mom has always been there for me, and is helping me more then she knows with the wedding. I know she is doing everything in her power to make my day the best, most memorable day of my life. She is the best! It's nice just writing this stuff down, it helps put things back in perspective. I am not my mom, I am not my sister, I am just Natalie and I know that it may be raining now, but the sun will come out tomorrow, and my life will be great!

Pooper Ba-Dooper

Ever since Logan's belly button and circumcision fell off I have given him a bath, nearly every night. Always before bed time. It helps sooth him and every night he has a bath he sleeps really good. I use this bed time bubble bath. It smells great, and then I also use the Method soap gel, and that makes him smell even better, just like a clean baby! For the first 1 and a half month there have been no incidences with the no diaper off....until now! I normally ask Kevin to get Logan ready for his bath, while I get things set up. Kevin undressed Logan, he had a clean diaper, and brought him into the bathroom. Logan was facing Kevin, and Kevin was holding him by Logan's butt, you know, the right way to hold your child. Kevin was about to put Logan into the tub when all of a sudden Logan started to fart, and with the fart came some poo! Just a little bit, and it dropped onto our bathroom floor. I couldn't believe it, I just started laughing and Kevin started freaking out! But that's not the end of it! As soon as I finished wiping up the poo from the floor, Logan started peeing on Kevin, and Logan again pooed, this time all over Kevin's hand! It was hilarious. I had to run and get more wipes to clean up Kevin and Logan, while Kevin was still holding this poo-ing child and still freaking out. At this point I was laughing so hard I could hardly clean up the mess. Kevin almost throw up, but didn't. After cleaning up the mess, Logan had his bath, got ready for bed, got his last dinner for the night, and had a really good night's sleep. Since I am the one who is on diaper duty most times, I really thought I was going to be the first one Logan pooed or would be peed on. But nope, he saved that experience for his father. I so appreciate that! It was a good bonding experience for both of them. I think that was the last time Kevin helps me at bath time, but its well worth it! To see the look on his face, was priceless!

Joys of Being a New Parent

Logan is now 6 weeks and 4 days. He is getting bigger and bigger, and his features are becoming more pronounced. When he was first born he looked like Kevin. Now he is starting to look more and more like me. He has my eyes for sure. But I also think his looks are like a chameleon, when I hold him, people say he looks like me, and then when Kevin holds him, people think he looks like Kevin. I love him. He is also starting to smile more. He tends to do it more in his sleep, but when Daddy comes home and we play with him, he will smile a few times. He loves the Whooshing game. Either Kevin or myself will stand him up and then Whoosh him up and down and side to side. He will use his legs to kick off, it is remarkable! It also seems like he is finding his voice. He makes new cooing noises, and seems like he wants to giggle but still doesn't quite know how. I can't wait for the day when he starts laughing, I think I may just cry with joy. Everyday is something new.

Logan had his first cold the other week. He never got a fever (thank God!) but he was coughing a lot and had a stuffy nose, which we had to suck out with that suction device. He slept a lot during the day, but he wanted to snuggle with mommy who was happy to snuggle. Poor Kevin (and me too) was so worried about him. Kevin would call me through out the day to check on Logan. Unfortunately Logan was uninsured when he got sick, he was in between, waiting for it to kick in, so taking him to the doctor would have been really expensive, however, if we had to take him, we would have paid anything to make sure Logan was okay! Anyway we called the advice nurses and they all told us that he doesn't seem to need to see a doctor and just keep doing what we were doing. We would suck out his nose, let him sleep and then we also would take him into the bathroom and steam him, we also got a humidifier for him which we would use during the night. Since he did not have a fever, there was no need to see a doctor, the nurses told us that we were great parents and doing everything right. That was a relief for Kevin and myself. However, the Saturday night when he was sick, I hadn't had a good nights (or day's nap) sleep for a few days, and I was exhausted! It was around 11 PM and Logan was UPSET! There was NOTHING we could do to clam this poor sick child down. He didn't want to eat anymore, we changed his diaper, and he didn't want to be put down or held, and he did not want his pacifier. I was at my wits end. Kevin was sleeping on the couch, and I was in the bedroom. I woke Kevin up and said, 'I'm pumping some milk for Logan so you can watch him while I get some sleep, I need just an hour of sleep, take him!' Kevin, who just woke up for deep sleep didn't know what was going on, and said 'I need to go to the bathroom, you need to take him and clam him down' All I wanted to do was sleep! Kevin was awake after a few more moments, and was so concerned about Logan that he thought we should go to the emergency room. He was crying so hard that he couldn't catch his breath and was wheezing more and more. I was so tired at this point that I said, 'Okay lets go, let's just go' So we pack up the screaming child and went to the car, and drove down the street to St Rose Hospital. During the drive Logan calmed down and by the time we got to the hospital, he was passed out asleep, with no wheezing. We stood outside the car for 10 to 15 minuets thinking 'Should we take him in? He seems fine now, what do you think?' I then said, 'He is asleep, he is fine, lets drive to Fremont to make sure he really is asleep, and then go home, if he has another fit when we get home, then we will take him back' So we got in the car and drove to Fremont, and then back home, He stayed asleep the entire drive, and then once we were home, he slept the rest of the night, not waking up until 5 AM. We kept him in his car seat because we did not want to wake him by moving him. I passed out on the couch and Kevin stayed up the entire night making sure that Logan was breathing and okay. After this we knew we could handle anything. Logan is now better, and Kevin and myself are more confident as parents because we got through his very first cold with flying colors. Go US!

New Mommy

Logan is now almost 5 weeks old, in fact he is 4 weeks and 6 days. I have heard all the horror stories of being a new parent, and I must say, that as of right now, it's not so bad. Yes, he has his moments of screaming and there is nothing I can do to clam him down. Yes, he has his moments at night when he will not let us sleep, so in the morning I feel not rested. But for the most part, he is such a joy. He loves to be held and cuddle with mommy. When he is awake he will just look around and suck on his pacifier. In the beginning, we did have some trouble with breast-feeding, because I was engorged, but now we are champs. He is also a really good burb-er. That's a good thing when I feed him in the middle of the night. I love being a mom, I really do. I love everything about it. I love the responsibility, I just love it. I really feel like I have found who I am, just by looking into Logan's eyes. I can see and feel the love he has for me, and he knows how much I love him. We have a really strong bond. I even like being home and taking care of the house. I still don't cook, but that's okay because Kevin really enjoys it, so it's really a win/win situation.
Logan's features are also starting to become a little clearer. He does look a lot like his father, but I'm in there as well. At first we thought Logan would look like Kevin, but now that he is a little older, you can see a little bit of me. He does have the shape of my eyes, and now that I dyed my hair a dark auburn, his hair looks like mine. Logan has Kevin's chin, and the shape of his face looks like Kevin's. He is sooooo cute! Logan is going to be such a handsome young man! I hope his personality stays almost the same as he is now. He is an observer. He likes looking around and you can tell that he is thinking really hard. He has such wise looking eyes. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. I can't wait until he really starts smiling, and giggling. I think he is going to be one of those really happy babies, who loves to be around people. The kind who will smile at strangers.
But for now he is learning and growing. Everyday is a wonder for him, an adventure. I get to be apart of that. I get to see his developments as they are happening, and it's the most amazing thing I have ever been apart of.

Unto Us A Logan Is Born

I find myself having enough energy to re-live the birth of my son, Logan Michael Milleman.


Monday Jan 11 2010:
This day started out as any other day. I woke up, got dressed, and took naps until Kevin came home. We had some stuff to do. Went to Koles so Kevin could exchange a jacket that was a little too big. Saw an old friend's mother, talked to her for an awkward bit, and then went to the hospital for my last stress test. The appointment was at 4:45. As I was in the appointment with Kevin, the nurse was asking how things were going. I told her that I was SOOO ready to have this baby, and Thursday couldn't get here fast enough. I was going to be induced Thursday Jan 17. The nurse said that there was something she could do to get me to go into natural labor, and if I was comfortable to let her strip my membrane. Stripping my membrane means that she releases the hormones that make a woman go into labor. Kevin and I looked at each other, and Kevin said that as long as it's okay for the baby, and me, he was up for it. I said, DO IT! I'm READY!!!!!! My back was hurting, I wasn't sleeping very well, so I was tired, SOOO tired. So as she was stripping my membrane she told me that she did a study on this and that 95% of women who did this went into labor within 24 hours. This turned out to be very true in my case. After the appointment Kevin and I went home, it was around 5:30. Kevin made dinner. This is when I started to feel some contractions, but it wasn't bad, rated on a pain scale from 1 being nothing to 10 being the worse pain in my life, I would rate it a 4. It wasn't anything out of the norm for me. I had been feeling contractions for several weeks. Kevin's friend Jenny was on her way to our house to drop off some baby items for us. I was walking around the house because the pain was getting worse, but not yet bad enough to call labor and delivery. So I went to change into PJ's, as I was doing so the pain got worse really fast. Went from a 4 to a 6. I started moaning and Kevin came running in to help me. I couldn't finish getting dressed. After changing, Kevin helped me to the couch where the pain was still getting worse and fast. The contractions were about 25 seconds, and about 2-3 mins apart. Kevin's friend Jenny arrived, and dropped off the stuff, but she didn't hang out because Kevin pushed her out to call labor and delivery. I couldn't talk, the pain was getting to be too much when I was having contractions. The nurses said to come to the hospital, it sounded like I was in labor. Kevin got the car ready. He was so calm, I couldn't believe it. He helped me to breath through the contractions, because you really do forget to breath, and everything you learned in all your classes just goes out the window!!! Kevin started calling the family. His mom and my mom. It was about 7:30 by the time we got to the hospital. They checked me. I was in pain now. Could hardly walk into the hospital, I had to hold on to Kevin several times before we even got into the building. Thank GOD Kevin was there! I really could not do this without him! After I was checked in and the nurses determined that I was in full labor, they got the room set up for me. As we were waiting for that to happen, I thought my water broke several times, and the nurses told me that it hadn't. Then my mom showed up. She stayed with me while Kevin paid for the labor. When she was with me she was tiring to lighten the mood, I gave her the dirtiest look, and she looked surprised that I could do that, she said, "OH, I guess you don't want to laugh" Or something along those lines. Then we wheeled me to my room. The nurses asked if I wanted my epidural. Kevin suggested not to get it yet because we didn't know how long my labor was going to be. The nurses said that I was 3 centimeters, and that if the pain was really bad (which it was, I would give it a 9) that it would be a good idea to get it now, and that it will last for the entire time, I said GIVE ME! The nurses were super nice. The woman who did my IV did a great job, didn't feel it at all. Then the man with the drugs came into the room, his name was Kevin!!! How funny! So they set me up for the epidural. I had a nurse help to hold me up and to not move. I was having bad contractions, they were very intense, lasting about 30 seconds, and they were only about 1 min apart, so I didn't have much time between to relax. As I was getting the epidural, and having contractions, I was looking at the nurse with the same dirty looks as I was giving to Kevin and my mom. In my head, I knew I was looking at this nice lady with deadly force, and I was thinking to myself, 'Natalie, soften your look, she is tiring to help you, and you are looking at her like I'm going to kill her, soften your face!' But I couldn't, I was focusing on getting through the contractions. Once the epidural was in, and I was on my side, I stated feeling better. However, because my body was working so hard, I got the shakes. Meaning, my whole body was shaking like I was a little old lady. There was nothing I nor anyone else could do to stop it. Just one of those things. The epidural kicked in, and I could now see people. Kevin's mom and dad came in, took some pictures, my mom came in, Valerie and Rick came to see me. I felt very loved, and couldn't wait to meet my baby.
Tuesday Jan 12, 2010:
By around midnight Kevin and I were exhausted, and took a little nap, I was 8 centimeters! They also had to break my water, because the baby was starting to get stressed, and they wanted to move along the labor. Boy did they! At around 1:15, it was time to push, thank goodness for the hour or so nap I took. The doctors and nurses got the room and myself ready. Kevin was at my side the entire time. I asked the doctor about how long I would be pushing for, she said about an hour I think. Oh that didn't sound bad at all. When the next contraction came, they told me to push, I pushed like a champ. The nurses couldn't believe that this was my first child. After two more pushes, Logan came into the world. they put him on my chest, and the love I felt, I will never be able to explain. I looked at Kevin with tears coming down my checks, and saw the tears in his eyes. It was the most magical moment of my life. My son was born at 1:44 AM. He was 6 lbs 14 oz and 18.5 in. Labor was 7 hours, and only 3 pushes! How lucky am I?
He is perfect. No marks, pink, with a round head. SOOOO cute! Kevin saw the whole thing, and he also cut the cord. They washed him up and bundled him up. Everyone who was at the hospital saw Logan, and everyone was so happy, and so tired! Me...I was on cloud nine, not tired at all!
I stayed at the hospital for 2 days, and then they sent us home. Logan did lose a little too much weight, but he has gained it all back and then some. I am breast feeding, he has never had a bottle. He is a joy to have. Not too fussy, he sleeps about 4 hours at a time. When he is awake, he just looks around and coos. He is holding his head up now, and he uses his legs when we play jump. He is the most wonderful child ever! I love him so much, all I do all day long is look at him. He is soooo adorable.

A Look Back

I have not been as diligent as I wanted to be last month with my blog. Not a WHOLE lot has happened. I had a wonderful holiday, and I am about to give birth. I'm looking forward to meeting my son Logan, and bringing him to his first home, then moving him to his second, hopefully larger, home. My sugar levels have been really great this past month. Logan is about 6.5 pounds and all the nurses and doctors I have seen have all said he is a very happy active baby.


Anyway it is 4:30 in the morning at the moment, and I can't sleep, which is a little unusual for me since lately I love to sleep. I have been thinking a lot lately about my life and how I got to this chapter in it. My life has changed dramatically over the last 3 years. I thought it would be a fun thing to have a look back to when Kevin and I first met, then how we reunited. Let's have a look back, shall we?

I was 19, fresh out of high school, living with my mom, and working at Olive Garden. I was free. I had a job and really good friends who lived literally around the corner from me. I hung out there a lot in those days. There were many reasons why, but the main reason is because my boyfriend at the time also lived there with my two best friends (Who just happen to be married now and have a child of their own). Anyway, life was pretty good. One night an old friend from high school came over to hang out for a bit. It just so happens the the fore mentioned boyfriend had just broken up with me. Needless to say I was in need of some cheering up. This friend had brought his older brother with him, a boy named Kevin. Man was he a cutie or what?! So we made small talk (I was very shy when it came to cute boys) and everyone around me made me feel much better. That was the first time I met Kevin.


A few months after having my heartbroken, then repaired, then broken again I moved out of my childhood home. Yes, I was living on my own for the first time due to the fact that my mother wanted to 'call my bluff' and purchased two goats. Yes goats, the barn animal. I HATE goats, I did not want to live with them, hear them, smell them, or have anything to do with them. The moment the trailer came to my house I packed my things, and was out of the house. I stayed with my dad and sister for a few weeks sleeping on their couch. I then moved in with my best friend, Codi and her boyfriend Michael, who I have known since childhood. I was free! Well, in the summer one night I invited Kevin over, (he did help me move into my new place). We talked and laughed and flirted all night long. I was starting to fall for him. After another couple of weeks, I had a really bad day at work, and was invited to a co-workers party. I wanted to go and let out some steam. I called Kevin to see if he would like to go with me. He did not, he was either not home at the time, or didn't want to go, I can't quite remember. Anyway that was the night I met my now very ex-boyfriend, Wesley. Even though I really liked Kevin, he was not responding to me the way I wanted him too, and I was getting attention from Wesley.

Let us fast forward to 4 years down the road, because the story of me and Wesley is just that, another story, another blog all together. Things between Wesley and I were very bad, and I was about to break up with him. I went to see some old childhood friends to party, I was now 24. Throughout my relationship with Wesley I always thought about Kevin and what my life would be like if we had gotten together. So while I was at my friends house I thought I would give him a call. He answered! He remembered me! I was the girl who got away. I told him to come over to my friends house to hang out. He did, sparks flew. All the old feelings came rushing back to me. It was like we were never apart, even though it had been years since we last spoke. I told him about my life and how I was about to break up with Wesley, he told me about his life and how he broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years 8 months ago. We were on the same page. I broke up with Wesley the next day, moved out the following day to my kind hearted sister's house, and Kevin and I went on our very first date to the beach that weekend. Yes, I moved fast, but I'm not the kind of girl to miss out on something that could be special, just because I just broke it off with a cruel and evil man. Yes, my heart was on the mend, and I really feel like Kevin helped save me, along with my family who supported me and all my friends.

Here we are now, back to the present. Kevin and I have been together now for 2 years. We have been engaged to be married for almost a year, and we are about to have our first child. I love him now like I loved him back then. In fact, it only grows with each passing day. That is our story. I'm sure Kevin has his side, but he will have to tell you that one. Isn't looking back great? Remembering all those happy times? I know I loved it.