It's My Pregnancy and I'll Cry if I Want To

The time is very near. I am 34 weeks as of Tuesday (Tomorrow Dec 15) That means 4 weeks left! I am becoming more emotional everyday. I will cry at the drop of a hat these days. I will give you an example. Saturday morning I turned on the TV and a Kay Jeweler commercial came on. This is the one where it's 2 in the morning and a new mom just put the baby down after feeding. The dad comes out and the mom says 'Why are you up?' Then the dad replies 'It's 2 in the morning on Christmas Day, this is our first Christmas, and I couldn't wait' as he turns on the tree lights and hands the mom her present. This made me choke up, tears started welling up in my eyes, and I had to walk out of the room. I realized that this commercial was going to make me cry, I then started to laugh because I thought I was being ridicules. I called Kevin right away and told him what happened. He thought it was funny. So did I, we were laughing, it was great! Then last night, for no reason, I just started to cry, and I mean cry! Couldn't stop the tears. As I was crying I was telling Kevin 'I don't know why I'm crying, I don't know!' He came over sat down next to me, and cuddled with me, when I calmed down a bit, he made me laugh and that was it, he then made me some hot tea, which was really nice! I have had a cold since Friday, so I haven't been sleeping well all weekend, plus Logan would not stop moving around so it made it impossible for me to nap! So I think this episode was due to lack of sleep, and sickness.
Here is another example: This morning I had my weekly phone call from a nurse to get my blood sugar count. This week my night time levels were a little high maybe because I ate just a little too much carbs, which happens. Even though I measure and count sometimes the levels are just a little too high. Anyway I guess my regular nurse was off today, so I had a new person call. I do not like her. She made me feel like I was doing a terrible job on my diet. She made me feel so small and like I didn't know what was going on. I'm not sure if this is me being hormonal and I'm over-reacting, but I did not like her. I felt like she was talking down to me. I'm doing the best I can, and my regular nurse knows me and knows my levels, and she has never made me feel bad when my levels were too high. After the phone call, which I was very polite and didn't say anything mean or rude, I called Kevin. I told Kevin the story, and as I was telling the story, I almost broke down again. I am doing everything I can for my child, I have stuck to my diet with limited amount of cheating (I am only human and pregnant after all) This lady does not know me or my history. Kevin made me feel much better. He knows how hard I try to keep to my diet and he is there for me all the way. He told me to not let this lady get me down. I'm taking this advice. I do all that I can, I take all the advice the nurses' give me. One nurse told me to eat a little more carbs, the nurse today told me to cut carbs from dinner for this week to even me out. So I will do what they tell me every time.
I only have 4 weeks left! Only 4 more weeks until I have a child in my arms. Only 8 more weeks of this crappy diet. I have gone this far, I can see the finish line in sight, I know I can do it. I WILL do it for me and my baby! I'm not going to let anything get me down this far in the game!

Paying Off

I know that I have complained a lot about my diet. I work very hard on keeping to it. Yes, I spoil myself once in a great while, but sometimes a pregnant girl needs some sweets! Anyway, like I said, I work very hard on my diet, well today I found out that it is paying off. Kevin and I had our 32 weeks appointment today. My doctor was so happy for me that we have found the right amount of medicine to keep my blood sugar on track, and I can still eat the right amount of food. Of course she told me that I can't go over board on the holiday treats, but she seems satisfied with my progress. Hearing that from my doctor felt so good I can't even begin to tell you. But that does not mean things will remain the same, I might need more help later on. But still at the moment the medicine and diet is working for me. There have been nights when I would just start crying because my blood sugar was too high, and I did everything right. I ate the right amount of food, but it wasn't showing. I would be extremely frustrated! Now that it is showing, I feel much more confident and relaxed. Logan is growing at the right rate, and doesn't seem to be too big. I have an ultrasound on the 19th to make sure he is doing okay. Also, because I am a semi high risk pregnancy I have to do a stress test every week. That means once a week I go to my doctors' and they strap me to a monitor and I listen to the baby's heartbeat for half an hour. I will be doing this until the end. It is to make sure that Logan is not stressed due to the diet. I'm actually looking forward to this. My doctor said it is a really neat experience. I also talked to my doctor about my ribs right under my right breast. I told her that it is very sensitive, and it hurts to wear a bra, could the baby have bruised my rib? She said it is very unlikely that he did. My ribs are expanding to make more room for the baby, which can cause some pain right where I was describing. So I over-reacted about my ribs, they are not bruised. As for my hormones, they are still in force, and we are just learning to deal with them as we need to. Kevin has been great. I really can't say that enough.
The baby's room is also coming together. Baby's room meaning the only bedroom in our small place. As I type, Kevin is finishing the changing table that my dad and Susan got for us. The crib has been set up for a while. We have also changed the living room around to make better room for the baby stuff, like the swinger and bouncer and such. Everything is coming together at last. I'm looking forward to the changing table being completed so I can start putting his cloths away and getting stuff in order. We want to make sure everything is done soon because Kevin says that I could go into labor any day now. I'm not worried about going into labor early I understand that it could happen, but I also understand that most first timers go past their due dates, besides, I'm going for Jan 19. I would like to keep the tradition of same birth date as the grandmother. So I am shooting for your birthday Mom, we just need to convince Logan to come on that day, he may not listen to his mother, but I am trying!
I'm super glad that my hard work is paying off, and that the end is getting closer. I can't wait to hold my beautiful child in my arms for the first time, and feel that unconditional love flow through me.