It's My Pregnancy and I'll Cry if I Want To

The time is very near. I am 34 weeks as of Tuesday (Tomorrow Dec 15) That means 4 weeks left! I am becoming more emotional everyday. I will cry at the drop of a hat these days. I will give you an example. Saturday morning I turned on the TV and a Kay Jeweler commercial came on. This is the one where it's 2 in the morning and a new mom just put the baby down after feeding. The dad comes out and the mom says 'Why are you up?' Then the dad replies 'It's 2 in the morning on Christmas Day, this is our first Christmas, and I couldn't wait' as he turns on the tree lights and hands the mom her present. This made me choke up, tears started welling up in my eyes, and I had to walk out of the room. I realized that this commercial was going to make me cry, I then started to laugh because I thought I was being ridicules. I called Kevin right away and told him what happened. He thought it was funny. So did I, we were laughing, it was great! Then last night, for no reason, I just started to cry, and I mean cry! Couldn't stop the tears. As I was crying I was telling Kevin 'I don't know why I'm crying, I don't know!' He came over sat down next to me, and cuddled with me, when I calmed down a bit, he made me laugh and that was it, he then made me some hot tea, which was really nice! I have had a cold since Friday, so I haven't been sleeping well all weekend, plus Logan would not stop moving around so it made it impossible for me to nap! So I think this episode was due to lack of sleep, and sickness.
Here is another example: This morning I had my weekly phone call from a nurse to get my blood sugar count. This week my night time levels were a little high maybe because I ate just a little too much carbs, which happens. Even though I measure and count sometimes the levels are just a little too high. Anyway I guess my regular nurse was off today, so I had a new person call. I do not like her. She made me feel like I was doing a terrible job on my diet. She made me feel so small and like I didn't know what was going on. I'm not sure if this is me being hormonal and I'm over-reacting, but I did not like her. I felt like she was talking down to me. I'm doing the best I can, and my regular nurse knows me and knows my levels, and she has never made me feel bad when my levels were too high. After the phone call, which I was very polite and didn't say anything mean or rude, I called Kevin. I told Kevin the story, and as I was telling the story, I almost broke down again. I am doing everything I can for my child, I have stuck to my diet with limited amount of cheating (I am only human and pregnant after all) This lady does not know me or my history. Kevin made me feel much better. He knows how hard I try to keep to my diet and he is there for me all the way. He told me to not let this lady get me down. I'm taking this advice. I do all that I can, I take all the advice the nurses' give me. One nurse told me to eat a little more carbs, the nurse today told me to cut carbs from dinner for this week to even me out. So I will do what they tell me every time.
I only have 4 weeks left! Only 4 more weeks until I have a child in my arms. Only 8 more weeks of this crappy diet. I have gone this far, I can see the finish line in sight, I know I can do it. I WILL do it for me and my baby! I'm not going to let anything get me down this far in the game!

Paying Off

I know that I have complained a lot about my diet. I work very hard on keeping to it. Yes, I spoil myself once in a great while, but sometimes a pregnant girl needs some sweets! Anyway, like I said, I work very hard on my diet, well today I found out that it is paying off. Kevin and I had our 32 weeks appointment today. My doctor was so happy for me that we have found the right amount of medicine to keep my blood sugar on track, and I can still eat the right amount of food. Of course she told me that I can't go over board on the holiday treats, but she seems satisfied with my progress. Hearing that from my doctor felt so good I can't even begin to tell you. But that does not mean things will remain the same, I might need more help later on. But still at the moment the medicine and diet is working for me. There have been nights when I would just start crying because my blood sugar was too high, and I did everything right. I ate the right amount of food, but it wasn't showing. I would be extremely frustrated! Now that it is showing, I feel much more confident and relaxed. Logan is growing at the right rate, and doesn't seem to be too big. I have an ultrasound on the 19th to make sure he is doing okay. Also, because I am a semi high risk pregnancy I have to do a stress test every week. That means once a week I go to my doctors' and they strap me to a monitor and I listen to the baby's heartbeat for half an hour. I will be doing this until the end. It is to make sure that Logan is not stressed due to the diet. I'm actually looking forward to this. My doctor said it is a really neat experience. I also talked to my doctor about my ribs right under my right breast. I told her that it is very sensitive, and it hurts to wear a bra, could the baby have bruised my rib? She said it is very unlikely that he did. My ribs are expanding to make more room for the baby, which can cause some pain right where I was describing. So I over-reacted about my ribs, they are not bruised. As for my hormones, they are still in force, and we are just learning to deal with them as we need to. Kevin has been great. I really can't say that enough.
The baby's room is also coming together. Baby's room meaning the only bedroom in our small place. As I type, Kevin is finishing the changing table that my dad and Susan got for us. The crib has been set up for a while. We have also changed the living room around to make better room for the baby stuff, like the swinger and bouncer and such. Everything is coming together at last. I'm looking forward to the changing table being completed so I can start putting his cloths away and getting stuff in order. We want to make sure everything is done soon because Kevin says that I could go into labor any day now. I'm not worried about going into labor early I understand that it could happen, but I also understand that most first timers go past their due dates, besides, I'm going for Jan 19. I would like to keep the tradition of same birth date as the grandmother. So I am shooting for your birthday Mom, we just need to convince Logan to come on that day, he may not listen to his mother, but I am trying!
I'm super glad that my hard work is paying off, and that the end is getting closer. I can't wait to hold my beautiful child in my arms for the first time, and feel that unconditional love flow through me.

Hormones Have Arrived

I think I have been pretty level-headed during my pregnancy. Yes, I have had my moments when I would just start crying for no reason. There have been times when I would be a little mean to Kevin and he would just be so nice, that I would start crying because Kevin was being so nice and supportive to me. But there were really only a few times that would happen, maybe like two to four times. For the last two weeks or so that has changed. I have been a little more 'argumentative' as Kevin puts it. Like we would be talking and I just had to be right or have the last word. Poor Kevin, poor poor Kevin. I didn't realize how hormonal I was really until yesterday. I had the idea of ordering a pumpkin pie ice cream cake, from what I thought was Baskin Robbins. I thought they had a sale going on for the cake for $9.99, and I could pre-order it. So yesterday morning I called my local Baskin Robbins to order the cake. I asked the man who answered if they had a pumpkin pie ice cream cake, he said yes, it was $31.99 and would feed about 10 people or something like that. I said no, I wanted the cake that was for $9.99 from the commercial I saw. He told me that they didn't have one at that price. I lost it! My voice became really stern and mean, I then went on to say why would you have a commercial for this pie for $9.99, and NOT have it! I mean I saw the freaking commercial!!!! I said no thank you to the man, but I was MEAN and maybe a little rude. It turns out that I had the wrong company. The company having this sale was Cold Stones! When I found this out, I felt SOOO bad. I mean, I used to work at a retail store and I had to deal with people like me, and it would always ruin my day. I just ruined this poor guys day because I had the wrong company! There is really nothing I can do about it either, hopefully something like this will not happen again. Poor poor Kevin. I can feel myself becoming more hormonal. Hopefully now that I am recognizing the hormones I will be able to handle them in the right manner. I'm not saying that I wont slip up, because lets face it, when in the heat of the moment, it's hard to control it. Hopefully it wont get too much worse. I hope for Kevin's sake, poor, poor, poor Kevin! He's has been so great throughout these last few weeks, he is going to be a great dad!

First Child Birth Class

Last Friday Kevin and I had our first Preparing for Child Birth Class through Kaiser. It was VERY informative. I went into this class thinking that I knew what I was getting into. I watched A Baby Story, and saw a little bit of what Valerie went through with Maia. I thought that I knew a lot of things. I went into this class feeling prepared. I came out of the class feeling so UN-prepared! Yes, I knew about the nutrition side, because of everything I am going through. I am thankful that I have this class, otherwise, I think I would be a little lost. I didn't know there were so many options about how you want to go through this. I didn't know that it is better to be skin to skin with your child as soon as he is delivered because he knows you through smell, and that it will be easier to breastfeed him if you do it that way. The bonding between you and your child during this time is so important. It is also important for the father to hold his child alone skin to skin so he can do his own bonding without the mother hovering over.
Kevin and I have looked through our options for the birth and we have come up with our birth plan. Yes, we both understand that our birth plan could go out the window, and we are as prepared for that as we can be. Yes, I am going to breast feed, and I'm going to do the skin to skin as soon as Logan is delivered. Also, there will be no one in the room when I am in hard labor. It is very important to both Kevin and myself that we do this together. Not only to bond right away with our child, but Kevin and I get to become even closer by going through this. Kevin has been so supportive through out this whole pregnancy. He is a good man, and will be an even better father. I know how to pick 'em!
A funny story that I think Kevin would like me to share with everyone: Our instructor asked for a volunteer. She needed to show us how to do some relaxing massages. She was asking only the guys. No one raised their hands. This class is kind of shy. Finely with a little nudge from me, Kevin stood up and said 'Okay, I guess I'll do it!' We heard one guy say 'Thanks for taking one for the team' or something like that. So Kevin got to get a message, which for him was a little uncomfortable, but he did take one for the team.
We do have homework in this class. We need to practice our breathing for 5 mins a day. and the message also. We also need to do a little bit of reading, which I have already scanned through. We are not meeting this Friday because of the holiday.
As for me, I'm getting more and more tired everyday. Logan has a new way of moving around, instead of rolling, he is now poking. On Sunday Kevin and I both saw what we think was his elbow move across my skin. It was the weirdest thing I have ever seen, and felt. He is getting bigger and there is less space for him to really move around. Next week I will be 32 weeks, only 8 more weeks to go! I can't wait. I'm getting more and more excited. I'm still not afraid of the birth itself, or even after the birth, all I feel is excitement. Also I'm having a baby shower on Saturday that my wonderful mom and sister Valerie are putting together. I can't wait for that. Cindy threw us a baby shower a few weeks ago, and it was such a blast. She put a lot of effort into it, and we had so much fun. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone!

The Wedding Plans

So now that everyone is pretty much up-to-date on how I am doing with the baby I thought now is a good time to fill you in on the wedding plans. They are going pretty well. I have gotten a lot of great ideas from everyone. My mom has been a great help. (Thanks Mom) So has Cindy (Kevin's Mom). So here is what we have so far:

Matron of Honer: Valerie
Brides Maids: Arielle (sister) Michelle (friend) Laura (step-sister)
Best Man: Jason (Kevin's brother)
Grooms Men: John (bro-in-law) Nick (step bro) and our son will also be in the wedding party, my friend is going to hold him as she walks
Flower girl: Maia (niece)
Ring Bearer: James (nephew)
Dress: Is being made by my mom's best friend's sister
Brides maid dresses: My mom is making them and they have all picked out their own pattern, mom and I found the fabric at the first store we went to, and the first fabric we saw! Crazy Although my mom and I need to go back and look for something a little different for Valerie's dress so hers looks a little different from everyone else
Color: Emerald Green and Ivory
Place: Highlands House in Ben Lomand, Ca which is in Santa Cruz County
Cater: Chef Kerry, he is wonderful, he did Valerie and John's wedding, and for those who went to my mom's open house, he did that as well.
Photographer: My very talented Uncle Rodger
Minister: An old friend of Kevin's family who is a deacon at their church. He also does Civil Weddings and has agreed to preform ours.
Invitations: Picked out, just need to purchase. Mom is going to help me address them before little Logan comes our way so that is one less thing I will have to worry about after he is born.
Our First Dance: Tim MacGraw and Faith Hill 'It's your Love'
Song to walk down the isle: Edwin McCain 'I Could Not Ask For More' Arielle is also going to give me and Kevin some dancing lessons, so it looks like I know what I'm doing out there (I can't dance, Arielle has her work cut out for her!)
Cake: Cupcakes, but I can't go tasting until after Logan is born, but I'm thinking something with strawberries and raspberries.

I am now looking for the table cloths and flowers. Kevin and I were able to go to the site last weekend and take a look at the inside of the house to get ideas for how we want to decorate the house and grounds. We got some good ideas, and I think it will look just wonderful. The bridesmaids will not be carrying flowers, they will be caring cute baskets that they decorate with little flowers. The center pieces will be very much look like what the bride maids are holding, only a little different, I haven't quit formed out that idea as of yet. I have said this before, I thought planning this wedding was going to be so hard, but I am so thankful that is has been relatively easy. I must give a lot of credit to those of you who have been helping me. My whole entire family has been nothing but supportive. Kevin's family has also been really supportive, and it has made all the difference. Thank you everyone.
I'm really looking forward to the rest of the planning and seeing my dress and having my vision of this wedding come into reality. It's going to be a great time! I can't wait until May 8!!!!!

Kicking...and me Screaming

I love feeling my baby move, and he moves around a lot. There are times that I wish he would settle down just a bit so I can take a nap, but for the most part, feeling him move is great. Now that I am 30 weeks and he is getting bigger, there is less and less room for him. Because of this, there are times where it is hard to breath because of where and how he is resting. This will only get worse as time goes on, and there will be no relief until the baby moves down right before I am ready to give birth. I thought this was going to be the worst part. Turns out I was wrong.
Since Saturday near the right side of my breast-plate I have been feeling some pain. I thought at first that it was from my bra. I thought it was giving me a bruise, however when I looked to see what was going on, I couldn't see the bruise. Didn't think too much of it until tonight. I still have this pain in the same area. I can't wear a bra because it pushes down on the spot, and not wearing a bra is uncomfortable, and my breast is resting on the sore area. I am now thinking that the baby, who does like to sit high has given me a bruised rib or muscle, or something of that nature. While driving I felt him kick that same sore area. I called the advice nurse who said to try laying on my left side to relive the pressure, and hopefully get into a position where my breast is not putting any pressure on the sore area. The nurse also made a note to my doctor who will be calling me tomorrow. Hopefully I do not have to go in to be seen, but I'm sure she will want to see me. I must say that it is painful. I really didn't expect for my son to bruise me BEFORE he was born. Funny how that works huh? I'm wondering how many women have had this same thing happen to them?
Another wonderful part my being pregnant is the heartburn! Oh how I love it! No matter what I eat, or how long I sit up, I will always get heartburn after each meal. I must now stock pile my house with Rolaids, and keep some with me at all times in my purse if I am out and about. Just another thing for me to try and remember to bring with me. I have a pretty good size list of the things I need to bring with me. Wallet, Keys, sugar monitor, and log, sometimes my make up bag, my cell phone, my organizers, and Rolaids. I know that doesn't sound like much, I know most people carry tons of stuff, but when you forget your own name and common words, remembering all this stuff can be a little challenging. At least I can still get a decent night's sleep at the moment, although I do have a feeling that that is coming to a close end. I'm going to bed later and later for one reason or another. Heartburn, the pain in my ribs, the baby moving around for hours, Kevin's snoring, can't get comfortable because my shoulders are sore from laying on them, or the fact that I can't breath because of baby and my position. There are times when I have to sleep on the couch. I feel bad for Kevin because he loves cuddling with me, but I just can't get into a good sleeping position in bed, and the couch is the only place I can sleep.
Oh man! How my rib hurts, I think I need to get this pressure of my breast off the area. Til next time! Thanks for reading!

The First of Many

I am a first time blogger. I have never blogged before, hence, my first time. I was inspired by my eldest sister Valerie to start my own blog after reading hers. I thought to myself I am a busy lady, and my family is busy as well, how can I keep everyone informed on how things are going? Then the idea of blogging occurred to me! If I blog about it, then all my family and friends can read it in their own time, and be caught up on my life.





I am a busy lady. I am now 30 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. I am getting married next year, (May 8 in fact) so I am busy getting all the plans set. I am not working at this moment, although I must say that being a house wife is a job by itself. Everyday there is something to clean, something to organize, something to cook. I must say that I am enjoying being a house wife, and soon-to-be mommy. I do have my days where I have had enough, but everyone has those days.





I have had a tough 30 weeks. I was sick and tired all day the first 3 months, and lost about 5-6 pounds, which for a girl who has always been small, losing weight is never a good thing. I didn't want to eat anything, things I LOVED tasted and sounded awful. Poor Kevin was at his wits end because he tried so hard to please me and he just couldn't. There was nothing anyone could do. Then came my 4-5 month. I was less tired, and much happier. Food was sounding great again, and I was gaining good weight. I was was looking forward to eating whatever I wanted and gaining that weight. I was excited to watch my belly grow and get bigger, and feel my child's movements, and finding out the sex. Then I got the news that I have a Glucose Deficiency. Which means it's pre-gestational diabetes. I had to go on a diet! A DIET!!!!!!! I had never, NEVER been on a diet in my life. I never, NEVER had to watch what I eat. I was very upset, but I did the best I could.





Then came week 24, the starting of my last trimester. That's when everything changed. I feel great, I have a wonderful belly full of baby. The baby kicks all the time. But that is also when I got the news that I have full blown gestational diabetes. I can not stress this enough, I HATE HATE HATE THIS STUPID DIET!!!! I want to eat, I want to eat everything and I can't. I do not eat whatever I want because I am thinking of the child growing inside me. Knowing that I am in charge of this new life inspires me to keep to my diet, and I am. It doesn't make it any less hard. Everyone tells me 'It's only for 2 more months' Again, it doesn't make it any less hard. Plus, I have to make sure I am gaining enough weight. I am supposed to gain 1 pound a week. 1 pound a week!!!!!! My body has never worked that way. So I am on this diet which really isn't the greatest diet to gain weight, and I have people monitoring my sugar in take. I prick myself 4 times a day to check my sugar, and I am constantly thinking about how much weight to gain and my food in take for the day. It's hard work. But I do it because I love my baby boy. I love this being inside me more then words can say. I do all of this for him. I do not like it, nor do I have to like, but I do it for him, for my little boy.





I hope those of you who will read this will enjoy it. I hope that you will want to read more, and I will be posting more. There is more news to come on the baby, family, and planning of wedding, and my life in general. This is the first of many that I hope you will enjoy.