The time is very near. I am 34 weeks as of Tuesday (Tomorrow Dec 15) That means 4 weeks left! I am becoming more emotional everyday. I will cry at the drop of a hat these days. I will give you an example. Saturday morning I turned on the TV and a Kay Jeweler commercial came on. This is the one where it's 2 in the morning and a new mom just put the baby down after feeding. The dad comes out and the mom says 'Why are you up?' Then the dad replies 'It's 2 in the morning on Christmas Day, this is our first Christmas, and I couldn't wait' as he turns on the tree lights and hands the mom her present. This made me choke up, tears started welling up in my eyes, and I had to walk out of the room. I realized that this commercial was going to make me cry, I then started to laugh because I thought I was being ridicules. I called Kevin right away and told him what happened. He thought it was funny. So did I, we were laughing, it was great! Then last night, for no reason, I just started to cry, and I mean cry! Couldn't stop the tears. As I was crying I was telling Kevin 'I don't know why I'm crying, I don't know!' He came over sat down next to me, and cuddled with me, when I calmed down a bit, he made me laugh and that was it, he then made me some hot tea, which was really nice! I have had a cold since Friday, so I haven't been sleeping well all weekend, plus Logan would not stop moving around so it made it impossible for me to nap! So I think this episode was due to lack of sleep, and sickness.
Here is another example: This morning I had my weekly phone call from a nurse to get my blood sugar count. This week my night time levels were a little high maybe because I ate just a little too much carbs, which happens. Even though I measure and count sometimes the levels are just a little too high. Anyway I guess my regular nurse was off today, so I had a new person call. I do not like her. She made me feel like I was doing a terrible job on my diet. She made me feel so small and like I didn't know what was going on. I'm not sure if this is me being hormonal and I'm over-reacting, but I did not like her. I felt like she was talking down to me. I'm doing the best I can, and my regular nurse knows me and knows my levels, and she has never made me feel bad when my levels were too high. After the phone call, which I was very polite and didn't say anything mean or rude, I called Kevin. I told Kevin the story, and as I was telling the story, I almost broke down again. I am doing everything I can for my child, I have stuck to my diet with limited amount of cheating (I am only human and pregnant after all) This lady does not know me or my history. Kevin made me feel much better. He knows how hard I try to keep to my diet and he is there for me all the way. He told me to not let this lady get me down. I'm taking this advice. I do all that I can, I take all the advice the nurses' give me. One nurse told me to eat a little more carbs, the nurse today told me to cut carbs from dinner for this week to even me out. So I will do what they tell me every time.
I only have 4 weeks left! Only 4 more weeks until I have a child in my arms. Only 8 more weeks of this crappy diet. I have gone this far, I can see the finish line in sight, I know I can do it. I WILL do it for me and my baby! I'm not going to let anything get me down this far in the game!
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